Raised Free-Spirited: What is Religious Trauma?
As a child raised by two pastor kids, I've always said that I was raised free-spirited. Meaning that yes, I was encouraged to never limit my soul, but also that…
As a child raised by two pastor kids, I've always said that I was raised free-spirited. Meaning that yes, I was encouraged to never limit my soul, but also that…
Relationships are a mystery, don't you agree? You've probably heard the saying, “Some people are in your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime.”…
On Saturday, I did the quintessential single-mom thing – I learned to mow my own lawn. I had put this off for a while. Why? Learned helplessness. Of course, I…
**First and foremost I need to issue a trigger warning for this blog. I’ll be discussing domestic violence and verbal and emotional abuse. If you or someone you know is…
According to Aristotle, the famous philosopher, "the essence of life is to serve others and do good." That's what volunteering is all about. By raising your hand, you can volunteer…
Despite my best efforts, I managed to traumatize my child. The reason I can joke about it is that my “child” is 23 years old. A while back, I was…
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the subject of friends. Everyone needs them. Friends enrich our lives, give us a sense of community, and help ease the…
Being an entrepreneur is not easy and sometimes you need to find ways to fall back in love with your business when you've lost your mojo. When we love what…
We are all magical beings by nature and manifesting a magical life you want is possible for you. As a mama of three, author, a small business owner and everything…
I know. I know. As women, sex can be the last thing on our lists. It was for me for a long time. By the time I was done with…
As much as we may love being mothers, there is so much more to all of us. We all have a story to tell. And because our children play such…
We are in an age when people are throwing around mental diagnoses like they're candy in a parade. Narcissism has been a word batted around a lot in popular culture.…
It happens all the time. Someone says or does something offensive and you're left feeling hurt and angry. We have a natural tendency to fight back, to seek revenge, to…
In Praise of a Husband? I can hear what you're thinking, this is a women's blog! I know, I know, but I want to spotlight how important men and husbands…
Do you tend to evaluate your worth in terms of your performance or achievements? Beat yourself up whenever you make the smallest mistake? Find it hard to relax and accept…
Speaking my truth, I'm a GenX'er and that comes with many things I'm proud of. We didn't get trophies much but the ribbons I earned from track are cherished memories.…
We hear moms say it all the time… “I had children and I lost myself”. I get it. I’ve seen so many women in therapy who feel this exact same…
It's in the media. It's on so many episodes of crime shows. Toxic relationships turned into domestic abuse. Families are ripped apart by the grief of domestic violence. How do…
The lies of marriage make it difficult to have a "happy" or "thriving marriage, the truth is we grow together and apart. Here I am learning how to let go…
The milestones of being a girl mom and raising daughters is priceless. Parenting comes with surprises every turn. Imagine my new delight at the engagement of my daughter. A feeling…
The definition of tolerance is non-judgmental and open to difference; tendency to be generally free of prejudice. International day of tolerance is on November 16th, and I was just thinking…
It seems like another life ago, when I had a whole other family. Living on a compound in the middle of a desert far from home. In between flights and operations, a…
When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story we can write a brave new ending. Brené Brown Why is healing so hard? If you have…
I'm sure you've heard the saying, "the past is a lesson, not a prison" or something close to that. Dang, why did it take me fortysomething years to figure this…
Successful women surround me and it's so incredibly beautiful until I get a knot in my stomach. It happens slowly, but then quickly. Spite blurs my vision and creates lies…
"Being human is hard not because you're doing it wrong, it's hard because your doing it right." Glennon Doyle, Untamed How can we set boundaries in our relationships and especially…
It's been two years since my twins moved into college dorms and began "adulting" as they describe it. These years of empty-nesting were supposed to be relaxing and stress-free. I…
Navigating the loss of my dad a mere five years after the loss of my mom . . . there are no words. The strong desire to push eject from…
We recently flew to Minnesota and being a family of four we had one row with the girls and me, then my husband across the aisle. A seemingly nice woman…
"When we look at our big kids, we still see our babies, too. This double vision is one of the most profound privileges of parenthood. We gratefully turn to fresh…
The summer light is fading, the morning is starting to have creamy crispness to it, and our gardens are full of zucchini. This zucchini squash quandary is not new...it has…
I’ve been counting down the years, watching them turn into months. Always keeping my eye on the proverbial clock that’s been ticking away since she was born. And now, according…
Were you one of those kids that couldn't wait to get the school supply list? Run to the store and gather all those clean crisp notebooks and markers? Well, I…
As things are opening up and people are beginning to reconnect, why not start a new women's book club? Meet with your current circle of friends. Create new connections virtually…
Guilt says you made a mistake. Shames says you are the mistake. Guilt motivates. Shame annihilates. -Susie Garlick Do members of your family bring instant guilt and shame? Specific members…
This past year has been heavy. Ok let's be honest, for many of us, it has just plain sucked! The pandemic, social unrest, dehumanization, political division, virtual school, it has…
The ups and downs of entrepreneurship are like riding Mr. Freeze at Six Flags. If you have a business or are in the process of starting your business, you probably…
If you’re anything like me, the title of this article may have scared you away. Losing religion? Finding faith? Yikes. Religion can be a touchy subject; delicate at best, offensive…
This Is A Shout-Out to the Low Maintenance Friend. She’s been on my heart lately and I just wanted to take a minute to tell her how much she means…
I spent a large chunk of my life apologizing. I have been sorry for everything. You ran into ME? Somehow it must be my fault. So often I was the…
Healing is in layers, healing is time. Healing is excruciating. Once you think it's done, it's not. Mary Demuth Father, dad, daddy, those names can bring a boil to my…
When I was young, my mother would take us camping just for a quick overnight in the mountains that surrounded my childhood home. She would load up the tents and…
How do we view our friends and are our friendships? Healthy or toxic? Have you found yourself arguing with your friends after they've disagreed with you? Do you see your…
Someone steps on my foot and I yell "ouch." The usual response from an empathetic person is, "I'm so sorry I stepped on your foot. "Are you okay? I wasn't…
Awakened by tweeting and the singing of birds outside my window, my heart did a flip and my spirit soared. What a welcomed sound! It was the reminder I needed…
Let me start by saying I LOVE my children! Becoming a mom was not an easy journey for me and there were times I thought it might never happen. I love…
What is your duty as a child to your capable parents? Is it your job to make them happy? What happens when you have guilt for wanting to lead your…
Masturbation. Even the word itself conjures up discomfort for many women. The guilt, fear and anxiety that surround masturbation in our society is astounding. Of course this makes sense. Growing…
I write a lot about how the beauty of giving is a gift itself, literally and figuratively. What about boundaries or cut-off points to your extended hand? If you do,…
Okay, I know what you're thinking. How can expectations get in your way of happiness? You have to have expectations to achieve more. How do your children achieve the high…
It's subtle, people pleasing. The lies women are telling are often so close to the truth, so subtle that they go unseen, but they never go un-felt. Women are telling…
There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one…
The most kind man drifted into my life during my mid 30's. He was like no other. Tall, muscular, kind eyes, quiet and clean cut. He was a man of…
I’m cuddled up under one of my grandma’s blankets. A Mendoza painting of hers is now hanging in my entryway, a statement piece I’d overlooked countless times when it hung…
We thought we were safe. Every day I would drive into our neighborhood and pray a thank you to God for this life he had given us. The neighborhood, the…
Hello there and greetings to all who read this article. I hope and pray that everyone is doing well. That is indeed my hope for you. This article was going…
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain." Viviane Greene Today on April 2nd, 2021 World Autism Awareness Day,…
Our dog died and I had no idea I’d feel so sad. I knew my kids would be sad to lose our pet, but I really didn’t expect to be.…
Two of my husband's children are acting like a**holes. Sure, they're my kids too and right now I am shifting parental ownership to their father. I am sick of the…
A long time ago I told my girls, "I'm definitely not perfect so I am definitely going to screw up at being a mom sometimes! All that I ask is…
My first birthday after losing my mom, I asked my husband for a unique birthday present. A punching bag. There was so much emotion that had built up inside of…
Where have all my adult friendships gone? This is what I think when I'm cruising "social media" and I see pictures of the girl's weekends I was never invited to,…
Perhaps the only legacy worth having is to have been known as a kind and compassionate person. -Unknown What exactly is kindness? A quick google search gives a simple definition;…
As February comes to an end, I want to reflect on Black History Month. I believe that it is important to recognize that the end of this month does not…
The Blessing of Bonus Littles I’ve been blessed to be the auntie of two of the most loving, creative, kind, and unique kiddos (sure, I’m a little biased). My niece…
A couple weeks ago I was out shopping with my daughter. We saw this awesome shirt (pictured) in the store Zumiez. I posted it on my story on both my…
In 2016, I became a “girl mom.” But I was determined never to become one of those "Dance Moms." I was already mom to a little boy. He was innately a…
Do you find it difficult and are hesitant to ask for and accept help when you are in need? Why do some of us hesitate when it comes to asking…
Our current political climate has been rocky and down right nasty. No matter your political affiliation, bitterness seems to be the flavor of choice for interactions between those that disagree.…
Being a peacemaker is a lot of work. I’ve been trying to keep the peace in one way or another, with one person or another, for years. And in today’s…
Forgiveness, there would be no chance of it. I had danced with the devil, there would be no second chances. I can remember the morning just like it was yesterday.…
Veterans Day is always a day of great reflection for me. Growing up the daughter of a Vietnam Veteran and then later marrying a Veteran from Operation Enduring Freedom, I…
With my cup of coffee steaming, the notion was simple: it was the perfect morning to enjoy some creative writing. Free from any plans and distraction-free, I was excited to…
There’s a popular quote circulating the internet. You’ll find it emblazoned on t-shirts, coffee mugs, and wall art from Hobby Lobby. “In a world where you can be anything, be…
Months ago, pre-Covid, as I cleaned up after the gathering of friends we had hosted for dinner, a stack of dishes stared indifferently back at me from my sink. I…
Being a caregiver can be very challenging and sometimes difficult to overcome but it can be done. On January 31, 2017, the rest of mine and my mother's lives changed…
As she entered this world, she needed me to physically care for her every need. It was essential that she have me hold, change, feed, bathe, clothe, and nurture her. Then,…
When I try to imagine what it’s like to have Alzheimer’s disease, the most common cause of dementia, I think of the flower that represents the cause — Forget-Me-Nots. Though…
Dear First, Before you break his heart, will you hear me out? As I write this, there is a precious, 8-year-old boy asleep in the other room. He has a…
Are you someone who is sensitive? If you are, do you sometimes ask yourself or just question, "Why am I so sensitive?" I have many times throughout my life, so…
In her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain describes various misconceptions about introverts. She explains that, “At school you might have…
A giggle escaped from across the backseat of the crowded Ford Super Cab pick-up truck. An exasperated groan escaped my lips as, yet again, my little sister crossed the boundary…
When I was in college I got pregnant with my daughter. I gave birth to her at the beginning of my senior year of undergrad. From that moment on my…
Many of us hesitate to be authentic with others because we have been hurt in the past or assume we’ll have more time once we come out on the other…
According to research, people touch their smartphones about 2,617 times a day. Clearly, we spend a lot of time on our devices. I never realize exactly how much until I…
June 30, 2002, I walked into a random church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Little did I know that a handsome man would hit on me there and later become my…
Many people do not recognize the benefits of conflict. Instead, they avoid it at all costs. They've been trained to be nice, and conflict just seems so "ugly." Witnessing conflict…
This year, though we're only halfway through, has been too long and too difficult both globally and personally. Too much to process. My head spins and my heart sinks. Words…
Do you often believe that you are not good enough? Do you constantly disappoint and judge yourself? Is blaming yourself for making mistakes and expecting perfection a daily ritual? This…
Early in the lock-down, I realized that I had no area in my house to "take" my yoga class. Work was from home, college was from home, high school was…
Having recently spent a week in the hospital with my daughter, I started thinking about a parent's unending love and support. Even now, as a grown woman and parent myself. …
“When you parent, it’s critical you realize you aren’t raising a “mini me,” but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it’s important to separate who you…
Moms and the childless in community? All of us crave the fulfillment of whatever we assume is missing in our lives. Otherwise, life would be practically perfect. But the challenge for…
My best friend of almost 34 years is a wonderful human being. I don't really know where I'd be without her. Her husband sometimes jokes that we share a brain,…
We were sitting around her kitchen table. I got back from my psychiatrist and received my diagnosis. I got an answer, but it was an answer I never wanted to…
I love helping people. It makes me feel purposeful and fulfilled. Every time I’ve taken an Enneagram test, I’m a 2. “The Helper.” I want to bring meals to you…
One mom’s two cents to get you through those last few tumultuous adult teen years. Parenting is hard. Parenting adult teens is hella hardest. And those last few years will…
There is nothing wrong with you because you cringe at the thought of being around your family (or someone in your family). And, if you are feeling guilty about it,…
We all, at some point in our lives, have fallen down physically or mentally, ranging from childhood to adulthood. We've collected a treasure chest full of scars from a few…
I have long known that God created me with the gift of transparency. But have since learned to shroud it in discernment. To pause for a beat. Then, cautiously determine…
There is a constant stream of information in our lives today. We have devices that fit in the palm of our hands that have access to all the information in the world. And if we don’t have said device, there is certainly someone in our circle that does and openly shares this information, whether requested or not. How do we weed out the noxious misinformation? Is it possible to define credibility within constant change?
No matter the stage or age we’re in, having great friends is a coveted circumstance. Finding a squad of authentic friends who appreciate you in spite of your quirks (hopefully…
Let’s talk about how to keep your marriage thriving, and some tips for special needs parents. Let's face it, having a good marriage does not come easily. Add to that…
I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for almost twenty-five years. We bonded over deep belly laughter and amazing sex. That grew into sharing our perspective and finding out…
Parent of a Tween Girl! I’ve recently entered a new phase in mum-life. Becoming the parent of my very own tween daughter! Of course I’ve been there once upon a…
There is an old proverb that mentions the idea of you reap what you sow. If you've ever heard this growing up, how did you decern it? When I heard,…
I would say that I got onto my own path of empowerment in my early 20's. I was a single mom with my daughter for 8 years, went to college…
I'm a big believer in finding our circle, and squad. Individuals who have similar ideas, beliefs, and values is important because they will encourage, support, and cheer us on. It's…
Happy Valentine's season my fellow comrades. I know this can be a sensitive time for many of us and it can also be a time for envy and anger. Well…
The Lives of Childless Women I often struggle in celebrating the lives of growing families around me. Counting myself among childless women I feel like an anomaly. Although maybe more…
Love and kindness go together. They really do. In my 20 years as a counselor, I've been astounded at how many people say and do the most unkind things in…
Opinions are like... and everyone has one. We’ve all heard the saying, but I find myself baffled that while we wouldn’t dare to share our nether regions, why do we…
Friendships are hard. Period. Navigating friendships through all stage of life is hard, especially as life changes. When friendships are good you feel great, but when they come to an…
That one small act of stepping away, that you performed in the moment of tremendous courage, has the power to change destinies of the next generations! Broken Promises She was…
Creating a list, checking it twice, sticking to a budget, making sure the kids are happy and loved. It's easy to get so wrapped up in the shopping and the…
It was a crisp autumn day, down under in the southern hemisphere of New Zealand. Wandering around the city of Auckland, I found myself people-watching while simultaneously soaking up my…
This time of year I enjoy reflecting on my holiday memories, of a time when we all gathered around the tree to open presents or sat around the table for…
Raw, real, and authentic can be hard to find Moving. We’ve all done it. Maybe it was for that dream job or maybe it was to be closer to family.…
If you know me, you know I really love a good, sappy Hallmark movie, especially a Christmas one. During the holiday season there's little I enjoy more than snuggling up…
We value strong, healthy relationships, but nothing can damage them more than poor decision making skills. Whether it is a spouse, sibling, long-time friend, or business partner, we want to stay close and feel connected. Going for the win-win is the solution to this problem.
"It's better to risk being disliked for living your truth than to be loved for what you are pretending to be." -Dawn Gluskin Let’s face it, no matter how hard…
Every December for the last five years or so, when my husband and I sat down to list our goals and intentions for the next year, I’ve included “make new…
My life is in a current state of unrest. I'm a wife, mom of three kids (two are 5 and under), an employee, and an entrepreneur. In my quiet time,…
Hate has always been a hard topic to discuss. It is usually seen as negative and can be deemed as an unacceptable emotion, making us feel like a bad person…
"Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you…
Allow me to be brutally honest. I struggle understanding adolescents and the young culture of today. It is more than not understanding their eye rolls or deep sighs upon, yet again,…
Jim Rohn, a renowned businessman, once said, "You're the average of the five people you spend most of your time with." In short he's saying we emulate who we surround…
No matter what form it comes in, rejection carries side effects that can throw us off track. Rejection can take away precious moments with loved ones, distract us from doing…
Validation? Validation is a hot topic in the 21st century. I don’t know about you, but I see it almost every single day. That is the entire reason for social…
As the end of summer nears and fall begins, it is my favorite time of year for concerts. I love music all year long, but there is something special about…
This year my husband and I celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary. That's 9 years of some hard work, let me tell ya. I'm not here to tell you about…
"Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart; a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor."-Marianne…
Glasses clinked together as cheers resounded throughout the room. Cake was cut, ice cream served as the committed couple were celebrated. Giggles bubbled forth around the table. Children and adults…
John and Stasi Eldredge have had a significant impact on my life. Through their books and through their teachings, I’ve experienced a deeper understanding of who I am and Whose…
Many of us are caring for our parents as they get to an age where their health begins to fail or they are diagnosed with a chronic illness. In addition…
It's really hard to bring awareness to the parts of yourself that you don't like, especially when you hurt those you love the most.
Have you ever been at a meeting, interacting and talking to people, when suddenly you felt the entire atmosphere of the room change? You glance around and discover that someone…
"Sisters are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly" -Unknown My Inspiration My younger sister Osmara was born with Bilateral Microtia,…
The truth is not always simple, as the saying goes. Ain’t that the truth! Over the last several years, as I grow older and a little wiser, I’ve had to…
It’s summer! Does that mean it’s time for lots of fun in the sun or time to find a million ways to entertain your kids who are bouncing off the…
Judgement Reveals I'm sorry for judging you! Recently I stumbled upon a similar title while scrolling through my social media feed. Immediately, without even reading the article, my mind summoned…
The same day I chose this blog topic, I received a “heads up” that my husband’s name was at the top of a list for a deployment next year. He…
Here in the We Spot community, we are proud to have a space where we feel surrounded by support and love. Each time I hop onto our blog or pop…
Recently a member of my Take Care of You Community asked me to share some helpful tips about forgiveness. I was so glad she asked because this is an important…
I have a vivd memory from my childhood of going to a birthday party with my parents for someone who was turning 40. There were black balloons and black signs…
Teenagers! For me, it's an experience beyond anything I could have ever imagined summed up into one word. I have a rebellious teenager that likes to push boundaries. If something…
For the last ten years I have owned a small strategic sales consultancy. Most of my decision maker clients have been women. Working in and amongst sales and marketing teams,…
Hello! It started innocently enough. We were two 19-year-old college freshman, and we only had eyes for each other. And, we had it badly. We could talk for hours about…
This one shift has helped me love those around me better. I am able to accept the humanity of those around me and allow that they are doing their best.
Instead of purchasing a card off the shelf, I felt like I could best honor her by writing a love note. A list of memories or things that came to…
We are finally entering a place in time where people are more open to asking for help. The idea of reading self-help books or leaning into personal development doesn't hold…
Please be aware that this article discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741 or…
SACRIFICE is not just a dirty word. Or is it? What does this word conjure up for you? Perhaps its sadness or heartbreak. Maybe it brings with it, a sense…
The glimmer of sweet, sweet coins Nothing makes me happier during a run or a walk than catching a small glimmer in the street. A small glimmer that is of…
Have you ever had those moments where you wonder, “Why did we get married?” I would like to say this question only arose after children were born and we were dredging through the exhaustion of raising small babies. But no. This question arose in the first weeks and months of marriage and I wish someone had told me this one thing that might have shifted our marriage.
My dad was in the military and left early every day for work. When I woke up I would go to the kitchen and find something to eat. Then I…
Time for fun? What moms have time for that? If you're like me, you're thinking about the million things on your to do list that are occupying your brain space…
Our Story: Picture this; my heart is racing as I see all the guests being seated. I am all alone now at the top of these red wood stairs.…
Recently I was reminded that in order to grow forward, we must embrace our past. It is a part of me that made me into the person I am today,…
Have you ever struggled with friendships? You're not alone. Making friends is uncomfortable for most of us. Let's take the pressure off of friendship.
Nearly two years ago, I took the biggest trip of a lifetime. I flew to Bolivia in search for my brother who was left abandoned and homeless in the streets…
I started gymnastics at the age of three and it became my life. My identity over the next seventeen years. Bringing me recognition, awards and a scholarship to continue my…
My Coffee Pot died today…. well, kind of. It ALMOST died today...it was a tragedy for about 10 minutes. Don’t worry...I already had a new one bought in my head. …
If you’ve arrived here in this sacred space you are probably like me; a fellow change-maker, peace-creator and sprinkler of love on our planet. I answered a call from the…
Today is the launch of The We Spot blog. Let me tell you, this has been a LONG time coming. It's absolutely amazing to see it come to fruition. The…
Here we are…February.. .we’ve already reached the second month in our 2019. Traditionally, by the beginning of this month, in the supermarkets, on social media and in all of the…