With the New Year upon us, the pressure to improve ourselves as a human and especially as a mom is constantly in our faces. However, I need to be honest and say that I am done trying to be perfect- I am allowing myself to be a B+ mom this year. Putting that kind of pressure on myself makes the start of the year unenjoyable.
You’ve Done Enough
I am a perfectionist. It’s a love/hate relationship. My perfectionism drives my anxiety and depression. If I don’t keep everything just right, I slip into a dark hole. Yet, if I keep everything perfect, my mind races to the next thing that could go wrong. When it comes down to it, I am doing more than enough for my kids and my husband. Even on the days that I feel like I am barely doing anything or I am simply hanging by a thread- I have done everything for my family.
Priorities
This year, I have really tried to refocus my priorities. I have put limits on my social media, challenged myself to read 40 books, be present with my kids and husband, and create stronger relationships with friends. That is a lot to do on its own. So, to add all the new year resolutions to the mix just sends me through the roof.
Letting Go of the Guilt Around Support
One of the quiet shifts that comes with embracing a B+ version of myself is releasing the guilt tied to needing help. Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that asking for support meant I wasn’t trying hard enough. The truth is, support doesn’t replace love, presence, or effort, it protects them. Whether it’s trading babysitting with a friend, accepting help from family, or considering live in childcare during especially demanding seasons, choosing support is often an act of responsibility, not failure. It allows me to show up calmer, more patient, and more grounded. A B+ mom knows her limits and respects them, instead of pushing past them until everyone pays the price.
What I am doing:
- Freezer Meals: Take a Saturday and put together 18-20 freezer meals so you can enjoy your time when you get home and just warm up some sides.
- Find time for you: Tell your spouse you are going to take a bath, read, or go to the gym with a friend. We need that time to recharge too.
- Limit screen time: Set limits on your phone and try your best to stick with them. Be present with your family and friends.
- Play: Just get on the floor and play with your kids, do puzzles and board games. Quality time with them doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just giving your attention to the task at hand or game without screens as a distraction is a gift enough.
- Cleaning: I clean one big item in the house a day. Then wipe off counters and clear the sink each night. It’s a lot less stressful than trying to clean the whole house in one day with kids around.
Being B+ is Enough
Does it have to be all of this? No. These are just some ways that I am working on being a B+ mom and wife. Am I perfect at sticking to this list or daily cleaning? Absolutely not. I try, however, when my kids are in need of mom time or my husband wants to talk about his day- I let it go. And guess what? The world doesn’t end.
So, give yourself permission this year season to be a B+ mom and wife. Regardless of how much or how little you do, they are going to think the world of you regardless.
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