There is nothing wrong with you because you cringe at the thought of being around your family (or someone in your family). And, if you are feeling guilty about it, it’s time to stop!
Not all of us enjoy spending time with our family. In fact, for some of us, it can be downright painful. There is nothing wrong with you because you don’t want to be around your family. And feeling guilty about it can cause us to put up with or agree to things that we may not necessarily tolerate from others. That’s not a good place to be.
1. Family doesn’t always mean the same thing for everyone.
Not everyone has a deep, connected family relationship. Just because you share the same blood relation with someone does not mean you have to share an emotional bond. Stop expecting yourself to feel something that you don’t.
2. It’s more common than you think.
There are a lot of people who don’t like their family, but you might not hear about it. For most of us, it can be hard to talk about an unsatisfactory relationship we are having with a family member. It brings up a lot of pain and sadness, and more people than you think keep it quiet. Stop feeling guilty because you don’t have something positive to share.
3. You probably have a good reason.
Some relationships dissolve over a long period of time, while others happen abruptly. Distance can be created because of a lifestyle choice, sexuality, gender, disagreements over money, religious differences, trust, childhood trauma, disrespect, holiday get-togethers, etc. Whatever the circumstances, you probably did not make the decision lightly, so stop doubting your instincts.
4. Toxicity is not good for your health.
When you are around someone that does not make you feel good or is continually making decisions that do not align with your values, it’s okay to choose yourself first. Many of us were raised to believe “family” means above all, no matter what or blood is thicker than water. When a relationship affects your personal well being in a negative way and does not feel supportive, your happiness matters and that is nothing to feel guilty over, family included.
5. The opinions of others don’t matter.
Sharing our experiences can be a complicated process. Especially if someone else has a different opinion. You are entitled to your version of events. Although it is important to remember that there is no wrong or right, you have to trust yourself. There is a reason you feel the way you do, and you don’t need to let anyone else make you feel guilty about it.
The Effects of Guilt
Guilt is a natural feeling and a personal response to the choices we might believe are in some way “wrong” or going to hurt someone’s feelings. The feeling of guilt can weigh us down. Over time, it can drain our mental energy and disturb our overall peace. You deserve to feel good about your choices and make room for the things in your life that you wholeheartedly want to give attention to, guilt-free.
