We are enough. They are enough. You are enough. You’ve likely heard these phrases quite a lot, but have you taken the time to figure out what “enough” really means to you?
What is enough?
Let’s start with what it doesn’t mean. Think of the ways you tell yourself you’re not enough. Not tall enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, happy enough, kind enough, generous enough. It probably wasn’t that hard to think of those examples, am I right? The list can go on and on. This, dear reader, is the opposite of being enough.
Who decides what is enough anyway? YOU DO!
Yep, that’s right. You.
I know, I know…that can be super intimidating. Aren’t you supposed to watch a YouTube video and/or read a self-help book to find the answer? Someone has to have figured it out.
I’m not going to pretend that I do. I’m walking this journey right along with you, stumbling and falling and picking myself up as I go.
While I certainly don’t have it all figured out, I will share with you what I’ve learned through those missteps and successes on the way to learning what it means to me. Hopefully, you’ll be able to take those lessons and navigate your way to your own determination.
- Accept yourself for what and who you are…right now.
Remember that list you came up with of ways you’re not enough? That enters into play here. You have to be willing to accept yourself exactly where you are right now. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to learn and pursue growth. The difference is that you’re approaching those things from a place of acceptance rather than a place of wanting to fix something that is “wrong” with you. Practice: Come up with another list. One that includes all the things that you love about yourself and are proud to have as a part of you. (Note: this one may take a bit longer, but it carries so much more weight!)
2. Let go of your need for approval from others.
Admittedly, this is the hardest one for me. But it’s listed as #2 for a reason. I’ve spent the bulk of my life seeking outside approval to validate my worth. Then I struggled with why my self-esteem was so low. Seriously?! Because I gave the power over my value to others, usually people I didn’t know well and who certainly didn’t know me inside and out. Practice: You can’t skip to this one without first tackling #1. Go back if you need to. Once you accept and love yourself, you will gain confidence in your own value. When looking for validation of your actions, seek your own approval and use that as your guide.
And there you have it! A simple, 2 step plan for being enough! No, not really. I don’t want to give you the impression that this process will be simple or easy or painless. I narrowed it to 2 steps for a reason! The practice of the process will take courage, patience, grace, and time from you. But I can say that the reward of personal acceptance over social acceptance, along with the inner contentment that can bring, will be so worth the effort!