I have lived half my life with the fear of missing out or “FOMO” – even when this now-popular acronym didn’t exist to describe my state of being. I have always been the one to say ‘yes’ to attend last-minute parties, to volunteer to help friends, and to be on that end-of-the-year school party committee.
I have always found joy in being involved, included and over-subscribed, especially to ensure that I wasn’t missing out. It has given me the rushes of adrenaline I need by running from place to place just in time (since I don’t rock climb or bungee jump) and made me feel valued and worthy. That said, it just got to be plain ol’ exhausting trying to be everywhere and do everything.
So, in 2020, I am committing to be uncommitted (most of the time). I am working to find comfort and peace in saying ‘no’ to the things that are not high priorities and things that others can attend or complete just fine without me! Here’s how I’m working to stay on track, and you can, too, if you are trying to find JOY in missing out:
I have set my top four goals for this year, and if an opportunity arises that doesn’t align with my priorities, I will take a long, hard look at it before instantly saying ‘yes’ to it. This will be a challenge because I like to do everything!
Calendar In Advance
I am building into my calendar set hours of me-time to read, journal, reflect, exercise and stay on top of chores. In the past, those items were always the first to go if something better came along. In 2020, I am putting myself first rather than spinning into the chaos that often comes from being oversubscribed. This will help me slow down.
Just Say “No“
Saying ‘no’ seems obvious! My friends and colleagues know I like to say ‘yes’ so I am starting to set expectations with them about my priorities and how I may graciously decline invitations in the future to keep my goals and schedule on track.
Keeping a tighter reign on my finances includes setting a budget specifically for entertainment, travel and charitable donations. Staying on top of my budget will also help me to decline activities that arise that aren’t within each monthly plan.
Set Times for Social Media
I get so many invitations to do cool things around Denver via Facebook. I am working really hard to limit my intake of social media with limited and well-defined times to browse. This will be a tough one, but worth it, in the end, to pare down the number of events I mark “Interested” or “Going” each week! I will also read The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World to get more tips on detaching from devices.
I hope the actions I intend to take for myself, to graduate from FOMO to JOMO, may help all of us have a calmer, less hectic 2020.