Growing Up Together: Part 1 – Setting The Scene & Being Honest

Growing Up Together: Part 1 – Setting The Scene & Being Honest

If you’ve arrived here in this sacred space you are probably like me; a fellow change-maker, peace-creator and sprinkler of love on our planet.

I answered a call from the Universe a few short months ago to gather together with fellow sister luminaries at The We Spot. The collective assignment? To learn how to better write and express both ourselves and our emerging visions for a kinder world.

Being Given What is Asked For

This magical opening came to me at a time when I was asking for, seeking, and some days praying for a space with caring feminine energies where I could learn to understand how to write clearly and how to understand myself and my style of writing.

Isn’t it interesting how we’re often given exactly what we ask for, and yet when it arrives beautifully packaged, we don’t know what to do with it? Our human tendency to push away that which we want the most can play out if we’re not careful with our self-awareness, and so I’d like to introduce you to someone special in my life; please say hello to Tendency to push away. We’re both here, Kelly and Tendency to push away (note the capital T).

We’re here even though this doesn’t feel at all right and it doesn’t feel at all easy, we are here, and we are doing this, both of us together.

When I was first asked to submit my blog topic, I was ecstatic on the inside.

I knew instantly the title would be ‘Growing Up Together.’ This was something that had been brewing within me for two years. I had it in my mind I would gutsily talk about all of the things I had learned in the last fifteen years on my self-discovery mission. This was a key piece of the puzzle in bringing light to how we can all work together in more genuine powerful, playful and prosperous collaborations. All I had to be was myself how hard could that be.

I had it all figured out, the stars had aligned, and I was finally going to write, share my lessons and make friends. It was going to be fun and light.

Things Don’t Always go as Planned

Hmmm…well the plan very rarely matches reality does it, and so it is in the case of my writing trip these last few weeks.

My enthusiasm, delight and readiness for writing all came to a big schmozzle-stop (yes that’s a word) every time I’ve sat down in my dedicated time to write.

Writing doesn’t like to fit into a time slot, it doesn’t like structure so much, it doesn’t actually cooperate that well, and all in all writing calls the shots. It’s a lot like life and relationships I’ve discovered. Perfect 🙂

How is it I can have so much inside of me that makes so much sense in my head, and is bursting to come out, and then when it comes to succinctly making the points make sense on a page they don’t? At one point I felt like I had twenty odd different topics I was unpacking, and I had no idea how I would reign them all in.

My Two Unwelcome Friends

Hours and hours and hours of reading how-to blogs on article readability and SEO tips and sentence structures and blurrghh my brain was like mush. I was feeling like Giving up. Oh yes, just quickly, another introduction, say hello to Giving Up. Another fellow traveler who pops up in when Tendency to push away is having a rest.

“The topic Kel, the topic. What’s this about Growing Up Together? What points are you trying to make? What do you want to leave the reader with and have you managed to fit in the search terms for Google.”

So. Head spinning, eyes scanning, notes scattered, this didn’t feel good at all and it definitely didn’t feel like me I was putting on a page. Tendency to push away and Giving up were teaming up! They’re about to send an email to the starlight’s at The We Spot, explaining I had made a mistake; I was over-committed, and I needed to pull out…  Then, just in the nick of time, in arrived, Calm.

Embracing Calm

Calm came in via a luxury ocean cruise liner, taking big deep breaths and was firmly and calmly in control. “Let’s do this, we can do this, let’s take one step at a time,” Calm says strolling in to the picture, floating-walking on a pink fluffy soft VIP entrance carpet.

Oh, hello Calm, it is truly good to feel you. Calm, the companion (who is showing up more and more frequently these days, and who seems to be learning how to flirt and dance with writing) to Tendency to push away and Giving up, so that we may sit here and practise getting clear on communicating ourselves, our thoughts and our visions.

Phew. So here I am on a page in front of myself and in front of you. This Growing Up Together topic. It’s big and juicy and light and bright and it is if I allow it to be, a wonderful and curious adventure that will teach me and us many meaningful things.

Showing Up As All of Me

So, I’m seeing this first communication with you as an introduction to me. To all of me. You see I’ve spent most of my adult years (I’m forty now) not being myself and trying to be lots of things to many people. Being inauthentic, pretending, overcompensating. They are all very tiring strategies I took on when I was very little to be liked, loved, and belong. They are not much fun when you’re an adult, and it’s really difficult to get anything solid off the ground to make the world a better place in a sustainable way.

I’m a grown up now; I’m wise, and loving, and I’m kind. I’m super funny, a little unhinged (thankfully most of us are), deeply sensitive and I am pure potential. I have lots to offer in a team working towards a collective vision.

I have within me the power to make my life feel good, and if I can do that for me then I can demonstrate that out in the world and that is all we’re being asked to do isn’t it. I think so.

At least that’s what my recent realisations are.

I have lots to share and ponder about this Growing Up Together theme. It’s really important to our evolution, our unity and our harmony. I want to be present with myself, and with you and your journeys, and learn from you and contribute to you.

Being Ourselves With One Another

As I sit here and come to a close with this first piece of writing I realise that all that fussing and all that worrying and trying-to-be, isn’t necessary. We’re simply being called to be ourselves with one another and that for me feels quite grown up. 

My intention is to continue on with this energy-giving theme of Growing Up Together in my monthly writing spot. I hope to cause a conversation with it; it’s my wish that it provides an access for more honesty among women in my life, and my communities and yours. I’d love to finish with what is inspiring me to continue my daily (yes, Kel daily writing practise) and that is a famous message from the Dalai Lama “The world will be saved by the western woman.”

I believe wholeheartedly that {We} together can make a difference, and I am lovingly determined to bring my best self to the party to work together to build a kinder world.

Look forward to being with you next month for Growing Up Together – Part 2.

Be Brave,

Kelly Quinn

Kelly Quinn

Kelly is moved by genuine human care and connection and so dedicates most of her waking hours alongside people and projects that seek to somehow answer one fundamental question "how can we all better get along?". Known as Kel by her closest friends, she lives in Wales in the UK with her very loving and lively son Harris and fiance Adam. Kelly works with leading visionary women who are bringing deep systemic change to the social, educational and care sectors. She supports them in developing and honouring their innate, intuitive feminine leadership styles and specialises in teaching women how to successfully collaborate and build community in order to amplify their critically important campaigns. Kelly is looking forward to growing her courage and confidence to write more in her own voice on topics she deeply cares about. She's also looking forward to making new US friends as part of The We Spot community.

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