Do you often believe that you are not good enough? Do you constantly disappoint and judge yourself? Is blaming yourself for making mistakes and expecting perfection a daily ritual? This continuous negative dialog is exhausting and can be toxic when practiced on a regular basis.
We also hurt ourselves in other toxic ways (drugs, alcohol, overeating, self-inflicted pain, neglect, etc.) to avoid the unacknowledged pain that resides within ourselves. It is a vicious cycle that can result in a toxic relationship with ourselves. We deserve to find the courage to break up with our toxic self so we can practice being on our own side.
Speak Your Truth
Decide to start being honest about the way you are feeling. This doesn’t give you permission to be snappy and hurtful to yourself. Rather, question your own words and challenge yourself to find the facts. Bring attention to what is going on inside for you. If you feel frustrated, hurt, angry or confused by something, it’s important to acknowledge that in a way that feels safe and healthy. Write it down, talk back to that hurtful voice inside or run it by a trusted friend. The more you practice speaking your truth, the easier it becomes and the less chance of toxicity existing.
Remember That You Are Human
Being human is hard. Permission to stop trying to fix yourself. All of those toxic thoughts and behaviors are a result of a need to change and fix and control. Somehow, we have this idea that we are not okay the way we are. We get stuck in comparison, judgment and expectation. We want to protect ourselves from the hurt and forget that pain is part of the human experience.
Acknowledge The Pain Within
When we are hurting, we inflict pain. We turn against ourselves with our own words and actions. This is toxic. The very thing that we need to nurture is the same thing we try and hide from for fear of feeling pain. Yes, pain is uncomfortable and we have to be brave enough to let these emotions surface. Allowing ourselves to breathe and notice what is there is the most tender and nurturing thing we can do in the moment. For more ways on how to do this, you can explore here.
Take Your Mental Health Seriously
The health of our brain is nothing that should ever be ignored. It’s important to take care of our minds, just as we would someone we love and value. Feeding our minds with nurturing, healthy thoughts melt away the toxic ideas that we might be hanging on to. When we can take a moment to pause, we can tune into our own awareness of exactly what we are telling ourselves. If you sense that you need support with this don’t ever be afraid to reach out to a professional who can provide more tools.
Be Patient With Yourself
We cannot hurry up and heal or expect to change overnight. Growth takes time. We are going to fall…a million times. And each time we rise, we will be stronger, wiser and more open. Keep going. You deserve your own patience, understanding and compassion.
How we treat ourselves matters. Our words and actions are powerful. We have permission to let go of the toxic dialogue and behaviors that do not make us feel good. You get to decide that you are worthy, loved, important, capable, making a difference and valued. You, my dear, matter too much not to. Encouraging you to be a supportive and loving presence for yourself – it’s okay to be on your own side.
