“We ain’t never getting older” is a favorite song lyric quote from the Chainsmoker’s song Closer. I like it as it takes me back to my younger years when I was in my 20’s. In fact, the trends and music of that period of my life are all back! I was single then and here I am, single now. Empty nesting single and never getting older, at least in my mind. How many years have I been single? Way too many now to count but I can say I have lived my life enjoying being single through the years. Here’s what I enjoyed the most at 25 then, and now at 52.
My Career Choice Fits Well
I graduated high school feeling Cosmetology would be the best place for me to learn and hone my craft as a hair colorist. The choice was a good one and 30 plus years later it’s served me well. Its’ been a solid career and put dinner on the table for my kids. A single mom career fits well for me. Now, post Covid shut down, we are desired and more essential than ever.
Choosing a career in your twenties is overwhelming, but trusting and knowing what you love has proven to come with a positive outcome. I explored many other industries as well as education. Everything learned was developing the fully evolved human I have become.
Living Alone Single Is Important
The first time living alone in my 20’s was so weird, scary, and lonely, in a new city where I knew nobody. Learning for the first time how to be alone with oneself after years of being part of a large family, and having roommates were so uncomfortable. It’s also nice not having roommates to share and live with less than desirable habits. Learning to budget and pay all the bills solo comes with plenty of responsibility. It was also so necessary to be alone and learn to spend time with myself, In this Psychology Today article, it indicates a much healthier outcome when we get comfortable being single.
Fast forward after years of living with and loving the humans who cohabitated with me for all this time, I find myself here living alone. Not in an apartment rental but in my very own home. It’s clean and quiet, and the space is mine to fill however I want. So liberating! It’s also again so weird, scary, lonely, and very uncomfortable sometimes. I miss my kids a.k.a. roommates. Recreating the learning to live alone is different this time. Like learning how to ride the waves of sadness that occur every time the kids leave when they are home for a visit. My single independence is challenged more than imagined.
Single Freedom and Adventures Travel and Exploring
When I was 25 I was adventurous. Trying out new things, new places, road trips, and traveling alone were all new and exciting. The downside of 25 was that I had fewer financial resources so adventures were limited. Traveling has always been important to me.
Now, at 52, I’ve had plenty of adventures – some solo, some with my kids, friends, and family. Pre pandemic I was on my way with several trips scheduled and some canceled after the pandemic. Now as things open up more, there is an opportunity to create some adventures again. And there is more financial ability that comes with time. I have 3 amazing daughters to do some of the adventures with as well as friends and family. I don’t need to ask anyone, just make plans.
Dating Singles at 25 and 52
When I was in my younger years, I had a full plethora of dating opportunities, mostly meeting new people in places I frequented and at social gatherings. The list of non-negotiables was not very deep, mostly based on less measurable shallow characteristics. I usually made the best decisions I could based on my limited experience and knowledge of healthy relationships.
At all ages (and now at 52) dating is stranger than ever. Middle-aged dating is funny to me because as a woman now, I’m in no hurry to meet someone and fall into something fast and serious. I’m not sure men have evolved past thinking they have some way of attracting women by their looks only. The list of non-negotiables has become finely honed and clearly defined. Settling is not an option.
Furry Friends Make Great Companions for Singles
Back in my 20’s I had an amazingly talented, highly flexible cat that didn’t mind car rides or road trips and adapted well to my many changes. She was my dependable companion and truly best friend to this younger self.
Now in my 50’s I have two small dogs who are my furry toddlers or empty nester dogs. My best furry friends keep me company and offer love and cuddles. Not just to myself but also visitors. Singles need furry friends as they make beautiful companions.
Friends For Life
Being single, I have retained some of the most amazing friendships for my entire single life. In my 20’s our friends keep us going and doing and don’t let us feel lonely. We are all in this singleness together. We had fun adventures and nurtured each other through hard times and celebrated the good times as well.
In my 50’s friendships we have had, we carry each other thru parenting, divorce, careers, and relocations. These women’s kinships are the soul sisters that really keep us grounded and moving forward as we navigate so many life changes and circumstances. While some friendships fall away, or just distanced either by miles or just business as usual, we are so fortunate to be cultivating friendships when we are single. It makes life more abundant.
