Worthiness. I am going to be honest with you. This word makes me uncomfortable. Like, to my core. I suffered years of emotional and verbal abuse in my childhood and the idea that I am unworthy has really stuck and impacted my adult life. There are times in my life that I feel unworthy of a lot of things. A new job, my relationships, and new and exciting opportunities. I believed the lie that I was unworthy; It turns out I am worthy.
The Lie of Unworthiness
The lie that was told to me all through out my childhood was this: you are unworthy of everything. Not worthy of praise, to try new things, to work a decent job, or succeed. And the one that hurts the worst for me. Unworthy of love.
Even if you haven’t been through years of abuse like I have, I bet that unworthiness creeps into your life as well. This makes you feel like you don’t deserve the blessings given to you. Unworthiness is a weight that really hold us down.
The Truth
I believe that we have all experienced that feeling of “I am not worthy”. My biggest area that I feel unworthy is my relationships. Because I was told so much that I was not worthy of love, I struggle with receiving love. With my husband. With family. And with myself. I am a helper; I take joy in helping and being there for others. But I have a hard time loving and being there for myself.
The Journey
I’ll be honest, there are days I still struggle with believing I am worthy. I know in my head I am, but my heart tells me something different due to the trauma I have experienced. I have worked really hard connecting the two, and I have to realize that the things that were told to me from a young age were not the truth. My heart needs to feel that I am worthy of love and belonging. I believed the lie that I was unworthy; turns out I am worthy.
We don’t have to do anything to be worthy.
“The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites.” -Brené Brown. There is nothing we need to do to obtain worthiness. I believed the lie that I was unworthy; turns out I am worthy. It is not easy to change our distorted thoughts to realistic ones, but it is true; You, my friend, are worthy. Worthy to love yourself and others. You. Are. Worthy.
