In Praise of a Husband? I can hear what you’re thinking, this is a women’s blog! I know, I know, but I want to spotlight how important men and husbands are in our lives. So I want to Celebrate Husband’s Day on April 16th. I get that we already have Father’s Day so why do we need a Husband’s Day? I think it’s because being a husband is so different than being a father.
So you ask, do wives have a separate day? Don’t fret, yes they do, and I fully expect my husband to show me what I mean to him on that day! How often we may overlook them or take them for granted. When he farts in bed or asks for the nine hundredth time, “What’s for dinner?” Or the inability to get his dirty socks into the hamper. But then he does a load of laundry because he can see that it is stacking up and you are too busy to even think about the stupid laundry. Sometimes it’s easy to forget our husbands are beings with feelings as much as any woman, they just show it so differently.
Why Should We Celebrate Husbands?
For me, as I can only speak for myself, my husband is my biggest champion. He holds me up and believes in me even when I don’t believe in myself. He pushes me to go after my dreams and strive for what matters most to me. I know this isn’t always the case in marriage, but I found a good one. He truly is my best friend.
Second, husbands help provide for and protect the family. My husband has worked tirelessly for the last twenty-three years. I know that I have overlooked the effort and stress that he was under. For example, going to work every day while I stayed home to raise our children. I know I made my own sacrifices to be with our children, but at times, I have forgotten his. I’ve seldom thought about the burden he had to carry as the sole breadwinner of our family. I’m sure it was crushing at times.
Another amazing gift is the role model he has become to his family. My husband’s work ethic is second to none. I can count on one hand how many times he has called in sick. He emulates hard work in everything he does. Be it in his career or doing housework or cheering our kids on at their various activities. He gives it his all and does it lovingly.
Why are Husbands Important to Society?
Oh man, this is where it can get a bit dicey. As much as I would like to think I can do it all alone, I wouldn’t want to (even though I probably could). Having my husband around just makes it so much more fun, and easier for sure. So let me share why I feel like men are so important to our societies.
Men show boys how to become men. It takes a strong, loving, caring, and devoted husband/father/man to lead young boys on the path to becoming good men. There is only so much a mom can give to her boy. In many societies, men are considered the defenders. Not only of their homes but of their communities as well.
Daughters need men in their lives as well. Their fathers are the first male role model they have. Girls turn to dads for self-worth and to learn how they should be treated.
The way a man plays with children is so different than the way a woman does. Women play with children at the child’s level and tend to allow the child to steer the play. Fathers establish challenge, initiative, and risk-taking into the play, leading more to the development of the physical and mental skillsets that lead toward independence. I wonder if this is a cast-off from the hunter-gatherer days when boys had to learn to hunt and help the tribe to survive?
Another way husbands are important is that they contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental well-being of their wives and family.
Not to say that husbands get nothing from marriage. Married men have better physical health and less morbidity. They have better mental health as well. This paper published by the Clarkson relationship Lab at Yale explains the ways men are supported in marriage .
How Can We Help Support the Men In Our Lives and In Turn Reap the Benefits?
I think this starts at an early age. Let young boys be emotional and have feelings. We need to value men’s feelings and help give them the space to be able to safely emote without shame.
We should support men in childcare roles. Make sure they have an active role in their children’s lives and respect stay-at-home dads. He is a father, not a babysitter.
Encourage young men to become teachers and community leaders.
Get rid of the man-up mentality or the boys don’t cry ideals. Emotions are not a weakness. Showing empathy is not a weakness.
And lastly, support men with their mental health. Plain and simple. They don’t emote like a woman but they have feelings.
So What Am I Saying?
Well, my husband drives me absolutely batty! He chews too loud and he gets distracted and doesn’t see the mess around the house. He’s too hard on the kids or not hard enough. He can never win that argument! He will never agree with me on how to fold the towels or what color to paint our living room, but…
My husband will always be there for me and our kids. He will hold us up and give us that bit of encouragement that we needed. Or he will tell us the truth when we don’t want to hear it.
I’m not saying that my whole marriage has been all roses and butterflies, but I am saying that with hard work and understanding we have weathered many storms.
In the end, I know I could do it alone, but thankfully I will never have to.
Here are a couple more articles I think you may like on the topic of men and husbands:
To My Partner: Thank You for Your Investment in My Friendships