It is no secret attitudes are powerful influencers and an attitude adjustment can dramatically change your experience. I have first hand knowledge of this and I have to warn you, it is not easy. My journey toward an attitude adjustment meant I had to own some heavy shit and take responsibility for my part in creating my own unhappiness. I still struggle to change my attitude at times and now I know how important it is to keep my attitude in check. Changing my attitude, changed my life.
My Need for an Attitude Adjustment
The root of my bad attitude was an unhappy work situation. I allowed this one thing to negatively impact everything. The worst part was the rest of my life was pretty great. Instead of focusing on the great, I was obsessive with the shit going on at work. In fact, I talked about it with anyone who would listen. I was sharing the latest crappy happenings and reiterating my poor treatment and horrible situation. I needed an attitude adjustment.
At the time, I was clueless about the impact this would have on me and others. In this case, the attitude was producing bitter and negative conversations with takeaways of tense shoulders and heightened stress. This wasn’t just how I felt, I was creating this in other people, it was contagious. In general, conversations with friends were really a bitch-fest for me and for them. We would complain together and leave the conversation gripped with displeasure. I was creating toxicity. It was disgusting. An attitude adjustment was desperately needed.
Getting Back to Who I Want to Be
Prior to a toxic presence, I was known for having an uplifting, positive approach and for encouraging others. I had previously been the finder of the silver lining. This was no longer the case, I was not lifting people up, I was pulling them into a vicious cycle, spinning out of control and it took much too long for me to take responsibility for myself and my impact on others. Ultimately, my nasty attitude caused hurt in my heart. The results included suffering relationships, spreading negativity, and bad energy and pain. Nevertheless, with time and commitment, I was able to replenish and recoup these losses, it took an attitude adjustment.
I wish I could say I came to my senses of needing an attitude adjustment quickly and reversed my impact, that would be a lie. It took me over a year of deep reflection and new routines to take ownership of the influence and fully gain an attitude adjustment. I hope that by sharing my experience, you can speed up the process and stop impacting others negatively with your own attitude. Ultimately, it is worth it for others, and it is worth it for you!
My Attitude Adjustment
I had the privilege to leave the bad work situation. As a result, the distance from the source of negativity allowed me to reflect on what occurred and forced me to take ownership of my role in creating (and perpetuating)the impact. I still believe it was a shitty situation, and I was not treated well, and those thoughts might never change. At the same time, I allowed the bad to fully engulf my experience. That was my doing. All things considered, I know my attitude contributed to my bad experience. I may not have been able to change what was happening, and I could have had an attitude adjustment for a better result.
My attitude adjustment came too late to repair relationships, reduce the negative impact or improve my overall work experience. This leaves me wrestling with feelings of guilt and failure (that is another topic for another time)! It also provided the impetus to learn how to change my attitude when I face difficult situations in which I have no control.
If you find yourself in an enraging situation in which you only see negative it might be time to do your part to create change with an attitude adjustment. I have pulled together 5 strategies to guide you through an adjustment and while they may not wholly improve your experience, it might stop you from allowing destruction to seep into every part of your life.
Here are 5 strategies to promote an attitude adjustment, before it causes too much damage in your life.
Attitude Adjustment Strategies
- Practice Gratitude
Each day, take a few minutes to write, think, or speak about things you are grateful for in your life. Some days this will come easy and some days will challenge you. Do it anyway. When you start to practice gratitude each day, you begin to recognize the good in situations. Check out this link for a great 30 day gratitude challenge, it’s worth your time! - Check Yourself
When you know you are contributing to the negativity in someway, call yourself out and stop doing it! This can be hard and it is really important to identify how you are creating your reality. Are you always talking about the bad, or focusing on the negative? Take responsibility in how your attitude is contributing to the problem. - Create Boundaries
When you have an uncontrollable situation, find spaces to create boundaries that allow you to feel more in control. Limit the drainage of the negative influences into other parts of your life. Stick to these boundaries! - Look for Positive Opportunities
It is rare you will be unable to find something you can do to improve a situation. Continuously challenge yourself to look for something positive and when you do, exploit this. It might be knowing that at the end of the week you have a break from a tough work situation. Celebrate the week’s end with an activity or experience that makes you happy. Look forward to this, not just to being done with the bad things happening. - Take a Time-Out
When you start to feel overwhelmed, upset, or negative about things, stop and repeat these strategies.
Do Your Best – That Is Enough
I understand there is simplification with these strategies. I don’t begin to believe these steps will solve everything. I do believe it can make the bad a bit better and more manageable. You do control how you react to what happens in your life and this can impact your quality of life. If an attitude adjustment will improve your well-being, suck it up and make it happen. You are worth it and deserve to experience happiness.
For another perspective on attitude, read this blog from The We Spot archives Never is Determined By Our Attitude: Discovering the Word Never.
My favorite advice: “Look for positive opportunities.” Thanks for the tips. There’s no “maybe” at all in my case. It is definitely me.