Jim Rohn, a renowned businessman, once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” In short he’s saying we emulate who we surround ourselves with… be it optimists or pessimists, active or inactive, laid-back or serious.
As an almost empty-nester who spent the last 23 years of my life dedicated fully to the lives and times of my kids, I guess that makes me a combination of my children and my husband. However, since the internet was introduced into our family, I have been, like most women, searching for the ultimate mom/entrepreneur/woman to show me the way to true balance and happiness. You know the blogger whose kids dressed impeccably, whose food was delicious, cheap, and easy, whose husband was always supportive, and who had her own successful business. Ultimately I wanted to know how to get all my laundry done in one day and have a meal prepared….huge goals!
Who wants to be my guru?
As I spent more time looking for this woman, I found myself an entourage of gurus. Guru is a splendid word. Guru in the Sanskrit means “from the darkness and ignorance into the light and knowledge.” In the feminine form, gurvi is more appropriate but it is a weighty word that means a teacher, guide, expert, or master of certain knowledge or field. I want a superhero guru who can do it all and give me the easy-peasy five steps to do it in. BOOM!
However, because no one can truly do it all, I followed a lot of women…like A LOT. Some could make cute meals and some could make a budget (and stick to it). Others could create the perfect outfit. Some could run 15 miles a day. Learning new ideas was fun; the execution was a nightmare.
How many is too many?
I’m one person with one 24-hour period a day like you and like each of them. These amazing women were shining the light on their one area of expertise… I was trying to be all of them. Forgetting to take into account that I am one women with a family of six. I only had so much time to eat, sleep, exercise, learn, teach, and live. Don’t even try to make me crafty. The math just doesn’t work.
Why do I need a guru?
As humans, we need to learn from each other. I love reading biographies and watching documentaries about the lives of others. The perspective that is gained from learning about/from other people causes us to enlarge our worldview. We live in our own highly-curated worlds if we don’t take on the perspectives of others and gain the knowledge they have.
Our hearts and inner dialogue can only take so many negative messages before we become our own worst enemy. Collecting gurus (even if they are amazing, tremendous, highly-successful people) can cause our hearts to be ever dissatisfied with our life and those around us which can lead to a lot of heartache and loss of hope.
When reading and following amazing individuals like I hope you do here on The We Spot Blog, remember that all the advise and wisdom that is shared has a lot of past life baggage. Most people share about what they know through life experiences and education. Take the helpful information and through the rest out. A new boundary line measure that I am loving is from author Tim Ferriss. He says, “if it’s not a h*** yes, it’s a no.” I’m no longer beating myself up for my imperfections… I’m taking simple steps that speak to my heart or I’m leaving them behind.
Manage your gurus
You are a spectacular and brilliant creation…yes, you reading this. You and your heart and your well-honed intuition know what you need and where to look for it. Let others help you rise up to your best possible self but don’t let people knock you down for things you never knew you needed to know about… like butt lifts and thigh gaps. Gurus and influencers are spectacular thing until they’re not.
I still read a lot of other women’s blogs and take a lot of notes. I’ve learned to toss more than I keep. I got a terrific recipe for gluten-free pumpkin muffins without signing up for the diet. My five people are the ones that are living and breathing around me who know my stuff and love me just the same. Who are your five?