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Mommy Guilt: If You Are Giving it to Yourself, Stop it

Before I was a mom, I knew that mommy guilt was a thing. I knew to be careful if I experienced this. One thing I didn’t expect was to give it to myself. Only a couple people in my life told me that I needed to do something different and gave me mommy guilt, but the worst person who did…was myself. Mommy guilt: If you are giving it to yourself, stop it!

Should I do Something Different?

Shortly after my daughter was born, I got together with some friends that had their babies around the same time. We were talking about how we were doing things as moms and all of a sudden, I felt like I needed to be doing more. I felt like I needed to be doing things differently. Was I doing things wrong? Did I need to put her on a strict sleep schedule? What was the right way to be a mom?

Mommy Guilt: If You Are Giving it to Yourself, Stop it

This had nothing to do with my friends making me feel bad or anything like that. They never once said I needed to be doing things differently. They never made me feel bad about my decisions as a mom. Heck, most of the time I was the one asking the questions of how they were doing things!

The Guilt

The guilt that I felt initially overwhelmed me. I felt like I needed to change up everything I was doing. Did I to make structured plans for every second of every day? I needed to make sure I was cleaning the house every day. I needed to be super mom and do everything without help.

Again, no one told me that I needed to do any of this. No one made me feel bad about what I was doing. In fact, all of my friends said I was doing great and that everyone does this mom thing differently. The guilt took over though..

The Realization

It did not take me too long to realize what I was doing to myself. I was exhausted. From having a newborn and mentally. I wanted to be the best mom I could be, but I had no idea what that meant…I mean, I am a first-time mom.

It took me a little bit, but the realization helped me put things into perspective. I looked at all the developmental stages that my daughter was meeting. I looked at how she was thriving. How strong she was getting and the amazing little girl she was becoming. I knew in that moment that I was doing just fine.

Mommy Guilt: If You Are Giving it to Yourself, Stop it

Mama, Stop Giving Yourself Mommy Guilt

This trap is so easy to get into! You see how other moms are doing things. You hope that you are doing everything right, but you second guess yourself. The important questions that really matter are these:

            Are you feeding your baby when he/she is hungry?

            Are you changing him/her?

            Are you interacting with him/her the best you can?

            Are you meeting his/her most basic needs?

Then mama, you are doing everything right. Sleeping schedules, routines, co-sleeping, non-co-sleeping, etc. that is all your decision. Do what works for you. Everyone does things differently. And that is okay. You are going great!

Savannah Howe

Savannah is a Colorado native of twenty-three years. She has been married to her husband for five years in December and they just welcomed their new baby girl into the world in June. About a year or so ago, Savannah realized that she needed to take a serious look at what she wanted for her life. She realized that she wanted to educate and inspire others through her story and has felt very called to do so. Savannah has always had a passion for helping others. Ever since she can remember, she has wanted to support others to overcome trauma and obstacles that were similar to what she experienced. As a young child she was abused, neglected and exposed to other traumas, but she knew God had a plan and a purpose. She has put in and is still putting in the work to overcome the traumas, and she wishes to encourage and give hope to others. She hopes to continue with her blog, finish writing her book, as well as speak to adults, kids, teachers, parents and anyone else who will listen about her stories to help educate and inspire.

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