Ever since I was little, I dreamed about getting my degree in Social Work and becoming a therapist. I have lived through a lot and I want to be there for others who have gone through similar things I have been through. But somewhere along the way, I thought that dream was gone. I formed new dreams, but old ones got pushed aside. But a part of me held that dream close. It knew there would be a time that I would be ready to chase it again. Old dreams are not always lost dreams.
Remembering the Day of Loss
I was sitting on the couch doing my schoolwork, trying to get an assignment done that I procrastinated doing. Tired, frustrated, and depressed. I could not remember why I was going to school. I knew what I was working towards, but I did not remember my why. My focus changed. The feeling that I did not want to be a therapist anymore or that I could not do it, crept in. I knew I wanted to get my story out into the world and a new dream formed. The dream to be a speaker and write a book. I felt like school was no longer what I needed to be doing.
The dream of being a therapist did not feel like a dream anymore. It felt like a silly thing that I thought I wanted to do or achieve. I felt the old dream float away as the new one came flowing in.
New Dreams are not a Bad Thing
Now I am not saying that it is bad to form new dreams and change courses. Seasons of life, priorities and interests change. That is good, it means we are growing and evolving. Me wanting to start a speaking career and write a book are not bad dreams.
Dream big! Develop new dreams! But when an old dream resurfaces…do not rebuke it. Give it some space and think about it. Old dreams are not always lost dreams.
The Come Back Day
The thought kept coming back into my mind; What if I went back to school? I/ve thought about many different things like nursing, becoming a medical assistant, business. In the end, I had to really think about what I was passionate about and what I wanted to do with my life. And just like that, I remembered that old dream. That part of me that held on to that dream was ready to give it back. She was telling me that it was time.
The Rebuke
I would love to tell you that when I realized that the dream of getting my social work degree came back, I welcomed it with open arms…but that was not the case. The scared feeling overwhelmed me, and I did not think I was ready. Going to school is a big commitment…especially being a wife and a mother. One day I brought it up with my husband and we decided to pray about it. Eventually, we decided that I should do it and I started looking at school options. I started to figure out the path I was wanting to take.
Embracing Old Dreams
Once I decided that I needed to pursue and embrace this dream I had stored away for many years, I got so excited. Just making that decision gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had this determination that I have not had in a long time. Stepping out and taking that first step was hard and I know this journey will be hard. But it will be worth it.
If you are in a point in your life were old dreams a resurfacing, take the time to sit with, think about, and pray about it. Do not rebuke it. There may be a reason it is coming back to you. Old dreams are not always lost dreams.
