Do you find it difficult and are hesitant to ask for and accept help when you are in need? Why do some of us hesitate when it comes to asking for help in any area of our life? Not allowing ourselves to reach out or accept help is not uncommon for many people, including myself. If you are someone who hesitates to ask for help, the reasoning to why maybe in the way we were raised and handled in our times of need as a child.
A few reasons why we hesitate to ask for help.
Recently, my family’s vehicle caught on fire. The emotions and circumstances that resulted from this accident pressed me to examine myself. I examined myself because the first answer I gave when asked if there was anything anyone could do to help was “No.” I said no, although I knew at that very moment I needed help but didn’t allow myself to receive it (at first).
Why did I say no? I had to sit and think about where this was coming from and what the reason may be. Why is it so hard for me to ask for help? What is the reason I hesitated to accept help? Thinking back, when growing up, some of us were taught not to ask for anything from anybody. When we were or sad, or going through a challenging time, as a child, we may have heard, “No one wants to hear that.”
That type of thinking was almost presented as, if you need help you are going to be looked down on. If you ask someone for something it’ll look like you can’t afford something or that you are lacking. When a child is told not to ask for anything repeatedly, it can be received as, “If you need me I won’t help you.” That can leave a child feeling like they are being rejected. This fear of rejection will stop you from asking for help of any kind. Thus, how people react towards you as a child when you need or want something perpetuates how you ask or hesitate for help in your adult life.
Don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.
As you become an adult you learn to suppress your needs and wants to avoid rejection. Now, as an adult, you hesitate because you think people won’t help you. Even though it is essential that we do learn how to handle things on our own, we all still need help.
Allow yourself to ask for help. Sometimes we need direction and a hand to hold to get through some rough times. After evaluating my reasons for hesitating to ask for and accept help when in need, I changed my attitude. I went from believing that people didn’t want to help me to knowing that someone will help me through this. People did help me more than I could ever imagine on that day and thereafter. I am making it a new habit for myself to not hesitate when I am in need of serious help.
I thank all of the ladies at The We Spot for creating a community for me to receive love and encouragement during this time. Though we are so far apart from each other their words, strength, and love for humanity reaches further. For more on how to ask for help and more ways to live a peaceful and transparent life click here. For more information on prioritizing your mental health click here.