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Sometimes All We Need to Give Ourselves is Grace!

“Grace is a power that comes in and transforms a moment into something better.”

Caroline Myss

2021 began with much uncertainty due to the ongoing pandemic. Somehow, I (and I’m sure many others) held onto the hope that soon enough life would return to normal.

Being involved in various activities and projects, I was anxious to get out of the house and get back to the things that I enjoyed doing prior to Covid. Through the pandemic, I felt like I had lost part of myself. There was no separation between house duties, work, social life, school, etc. I was doing it all (well, trying to) within my home, taking on more than I could handle. It was all a blur.

A new year brought new promises – soon enough this “pandemic life” would be over, at least I hoped. We couldn’t possibly continue living in such a dysfunctional way, right? Something better was ahead of us.

Back to Normal?

What a year 2021 was! It started off slow, many still being cautious due to the pandemic. But as soon as we were given the green light, life quickly started picking up its pace. The world began to open up which meant we could attend in-person gatherings or events. There seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I was excited!

It was no joke though, 2021 went from 0 to 100. This was in no way “back to normal”, it couldn’t be. This was an attempt at gaining control of our lives but in a rushed, pressured, and uncomfortable way. It felt as though we were all so desperate at getting our lives back that we were settling for this “new normal”.

Playing Catch-up!

I found myself trying to do ALL the things, both in my personal and professional life, in a short period of time. I felt pressured to show up for it all! It became exhausting.

What I had begun with excitement soon felt overwhelming and daunting, I felt like a chicken with my head cut off. I began to feel anxious and unable to fulfill all my duties. It felt like I was drowning in all areas of my life.

As a mom and wife, I felt I wasn’t giving my best – I wasn’t fully present. At home, the list of chores was never-ending, and I just couldn’t keep up. As a student, I was falling behind. As a professional, I felt incompetent. I was over-committed and under fulfilled. I had promised to do more, to achieve more, to give more and I simply wasn’t, I was falling short, and I couldn’t help but beat myself up for it.

How could I allow this to happen? Life was supposed to be better now.

Bring Yourself Back!

My body, mind, and soul were shouting loud and clear to take a break, to reset, and reassess my life. To just breathe! Simple enough, right?

I asked myself: How did I end up feeling so overwhelmed? How did I get to this point? Shouldn’t I have this all figured out by now? (Yeah right!) Why was I feeling this way? What could I do to feel better and improve my mental health?

I was still clinging to the idea or belief of needing to do it all to feel worthy and enough as a mother, wife, student, professional, etc. And, not to mention trying to do all through a pandemic. Gosh, but letting go of those beliefs was so much harder. I needed to be more loving and easier on myself – how could I possibly go on to serve others when I’m failing to take care of my own needs?

Giving myself grace through difficult times was no easy task but one that was necessary. I was doing the best that I could with what I had in all aspects of my life. My body, mind, and soul needed a more gentle and understanding Betzy. Once I was able to understand and embrace this, I could accept who and where I was in order to continue to move forward…imperfectly.

Taking time to reset and reassess has allowed me to bring myself back to a better mental state. I love Brene Brown’s words, “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

Ahh, perfectly worded and reassuring. No matter what is done and undone, I am enough.

Giving Myself Grace

When we’re beating ourselves up for our shortcomings, our faults, and failures, that’s precisely where grace comes in.

Give yourself grace – especially when life seems so uncertain and unpredictable.

We need to remind ourselves to be proud of how well we’ve handled life and how different things are now. We’re still in uncharted territory learning as we go. Let’s celebrate how well we’ve adapted, pivoted, and shifted. Sure, we will fall and fail time and time again, but at the end of the day, all we need is grace. Grace to keep going, keep evolving, and keep growing!

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the writer and do not necessarily represent those of The We Spot, its employees, sponsors, or affiliates.

Betzy Valdez

Betzy Valdez originally from Pachuca, Hidalgo, Mexico, came to the United States with her family 22 years ago, chasing the well-known “American Dream”. Greeley, Colorado is where her and her family have resided over the past 22 years and it’s a place, she calls home. She has been married for 11 years to her supportive husband Javi and together they have three beautiful little girls and an American Bully named Bella. She is also the founder of B. Empowered, a space created to encourage others to be the change, to be empowered to be the world-changers, the difference-makers, the heart-changers. Through Betzy’s own journey, she continues to be brave by sharing her story, her truths, her mess. Instead of allowing setbacks in her life to hold her back, she is determined to use her mess as her message of hope, strength and belonging. Her calling in life in to encourage and empower others in their own journey, regardless of color, race, religion, or legal status. She believes we must all have a vision, not division. Betzy plans to continue her journey as an empowerment and motivational speaker as well as an active community volunteer, leader and advocate for immigrant and refugee rights. She is extremely excited for this new opportunity and hopes to connect with others.

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