I’ve made a list of my ten confessions as a boy mom, but I think it is important to note that I grew up in a family of all boys, so it really was no surprise to me when I became a mom of my first boy, then my second boy. Oh! And then my third boy!!! I’m not going to lie…I wanted a girl so badly. I wanted a girl for many reasons we won’t spend discussing here.
Nonetheless, here I am mama to three kind-hearted, sometimes whiny, sometimes fierce boys. I will say there is something very special about having all children of the same sex, and I hope over the course of their lives they continue to grow a bond that is unbreakable as brothers. The moments I am about to share below has helped to foster that sort of bond. And although many of these moments were funny, some of these moments were heart wrenching for me as a mother.
Questions, questions, questions…
Am I doing this right? Have I over reacted? What am I teaching my boys about how to respond and behave in situations? How can I show up differently for them? Should I be showing up differently for them? At the end of the day, I remember I need to own up to my actions…and I cannot expect perfection from myself…and I cannot teach my boys to expect perfection from me or anyone else, especially from themselves. In our house, we own our actions and we are honest with ourselves. At least, that is what we are trying to instill. Parenting often feels like a huge experiment to me. Sometimes I’m the mad scientist and other times a proud researcher on the cusp of uncovering something spectacular. Time to confess all things things one can expect as a boy mom.
Ten Confessions of a Boy Mom
- Let’s start with the daily task of pee on the toilet, soaked into the grout, spayed all over the handle and walls; even seeped into cracks and crevices not even a Q-tip can reach. I’ve accidentally sat on a toilet covered in pee; and let’s just say this happens more frequently than I would like to admit.
2. I’ve had a boy poop in the yard thinking he should do the doo doo as the dogs do. See, when boys love something so much, they want to be that thing…All adults should act accordingly.
3. Boys put things in their noses, they pick things out of their noses, and they somethings like to eat the things that come our of their noses. Here’s a funny video regarding one of these experiences here.
4. Things pop up from the time they are born; and watch out when they do, or you could end up with a mouth full of pee. I have developed cat-like instincts from these experiences. This goes to show what a physical response this is for boys. So if I happen to save a glass disaster at a restaurant, I’ll thank my boys for this super power.
But wait, there are more confessions as a boy mom…
5. Boys ask lots of questions and they are most likely asking those questions and applying it to their own life, but they may code it like they are asking for a friend ;). See number 2 listed previously. My youngest son was so intrigued by the dogs pooping and peeing in the yard. It didn’t dawn on me that he was actually considering this option for himself. Could have saved myself a pair of Stars Wars underwear and an extra load of laundry. Perfect moment to explain, “dogs poop outside, you are human and you poop inside.” There has also been some serious convos that have been presented, I back that sh*t up with how it applies to them too, just FYI.
6. Boys show their affection by knocking the crap out of each other sometimes. Ok, not sometimes, a lot of times. Now I’m not talking about when they are acting out of anger and frustration. I am talking about that banter and head knuckling that produces a deep giggle in their soul. You’ll know when it is happening, the laughter fills your home. But get your first aid kit out, because it will usually ends with a bang, bruise, or injury. My boys have bonded this way many times!
7. As a woman, number 7 is something I did not expect. Boys have a phallic fascination from they day they are born. Enough said.
8. They have an innate need for ADVENTURE!!! For a thrill, for a rush of something new and fascinating. And yes this applies to number 7 as well.
9. Sometimes anger gets the best of them and you need to find a way to reel it in. My youngest got so upset and angry with me, because I didn’t let him watch a show, that he peed all over my bedroom door, floor and carpet. I rattled the scenario off to my husband over the phone and then preceded to burst into a wail. I felt like a failure as a mom that day. I’m not failing, I just had a boy who wanted to be heard.
10. Using their loudest voice is a physical and emotional release. Engage in this behavior with them if you can because their laughter will fill your soul. My husband started a tradition with my boys when I unexpectedly went out of town a few years ago. “Let me hear your war cry” is staple game in our house.
Wrap up the confessions
Here they are, my ten confessions as a boy mom, I am sure this will be a running list as I only currently have 8 years under my belt. These moments have created many bonds in our family. Moments of laughter, moments of truth, even moments of pain. However, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything else in this world. Life can be intense, life can be crazy, but life is also so miraculous, sweet, and inspiring. I love these boys and I want to do best by showing up for them in all the right ways. But when I don’t, because sometimes I won’t, I want them to know, I will own that.