The universe gifted me a special needs son. He has a presence about him and is a bright light on my darkest days. The days I have lost all hope, he reminds me to keep fighting. He is also the reason for my heartaches and my sleepless nights.
Special needs means a special kind of love.
I never thought I would be here and there are days I don’t want to be, but I am. I am here raising a son with special needs. My brainstorming never stops. The researching never ends. I am fighting for my son with a special kind of love.
I am busy scheduling what feels like a million therapy appointments each week. Juggling his schedule with our 3 ½ year old and our four month old. I am attempting zoom therapies because of this damn pandemic. Some days I wear the hat of a speech therapist, a physical therapist, or an occupational therapist without the training and education.
The Fight Never Ends
I stay busy fighting with the insurance company as to why genetic testing is not covered and considered a necessary test for the wellbeing of our special needs son. I am carefully planning out clinical therapy appointments because insurance will only cover a certain number each year, and the out of pocket costs are astronomical. Thankfully we can cover the costs of clinical therapy appointments, but it takes a toll on me mentally. Carefully planning therapies, paying our nanny who has become family, and providing for our other two children.
Some days I am forced to choose between making dinner and letting my son scream and throw himself on the floor. Other days, dinner waits and he enjoys a warm bath to help calm him. Most days I am overwhelmed, exhausted, and questioning everything I know about being a mom and raising a son with special needs.
He Chose Me
Each and every day though I am thankful that he chose me to be his mom. Each day I am growing stronger and more courageous. Every time I choose to speak up for him or reach out for help I am fighting for him.
I know his light will always shine.
His path might be unconventional, but with me by his side we will fight.
I am here raising a special needs kid. A place I never thought I would be, but I am.
