Trying to support someone battling an addiction can be hard – especially someone who is in denial about their circumstances. Heavy drinking and regular drug use can seem perfectly normal to some people, and they may not be able to see the negative consequences if they are a ‘high-functioning’ addict or if they have friends/family who are even more addicted. However, if you can clearly see the dangers, it could be important to steer them towards recovery. This involves getting them to accept their addiction and then supporting them in tackling it. Doing this requires tact and compassion – below are just a few solutions on how you may be able to help support an addict in denial.
Listen without judgment
Accusing people of things can make them defensive. A better way to get someone to admit to addiction is to get them to do it openly themselves. You can do this by actively listening without judgement – allow people to explore their thoughts and feelings and they will become more open. Admitting to your own shortcomings may even help them to consider theirs. In the case of an addiction, consider earnestly opening up about an unhealthy habit you’ve been trying to quit and you may find that this encourages them to open up about their own behaviour.
Read stats to raise awareness
Sharing certain statistics related to substance abuse may help someone with an addiction to face the reality of their problem. Do your research into substance abuse and look for stats that are likely to have an impact. How you present this information is important – rather than presenting it in a confrontational way, state that you read a news story lately and then delve into the figures. Discussing stories you’ve read about other addicts may also help them see the issue from another perspective.
Challenge them to a sober month
Another way to help someone confront their addiction is to propose the challenge of a sober month. If you too use the same substance, you could consider taking on the same challenge together. Alternatively, you could find something else unhealthy to temporarily give up. By making it a joint challenge, you can approach it with a sense of camaraderie. The sober month will meanwhile force your loved one to confront the try nature of their addiction, making them realise how dependent they truly are. Be sure to fill this month with activities to show that you can still have fun without alcohol or drugs.
Identify supportive resources
There are many resources out there such as support groups and recovery apps that can help people quit. Bring up these resources in conversation to make your loved one aware of them. It may be easier to discuss these resources if they have already started to face their addiction – if they are still in complete denial, you may want to refrain from directly suggesting going to a support group, but may still be able to find a way of mentioning the support group.
Know when to organize an intervention
If all attempts at suggesting they have an addiction have failed and their addiction is becoming more dangerous, you may have to organize an intervention. Consider researching how to get someone into rehab and look at different rehabilitation centers around you. In this case, you will have to confront your loved one directly, but it’s important to do it in a way that emphasises concern and the desire to support them. If other friends and family have already expressed similar feelings, consider confronting your loved one with them at your side. Interventions should be treated as a last resort method – make sure you’ve tried other strategies first.
Conclusion
Supporting an addict with denial is a delicate process that requires empathy and persistence. Be prepared to try different strategies and avoid being confrontational unless it is a last resort measure. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself and getting the support you need as well. Al-Anon is a great resource if you need to know more about supporting someone you love who has an addiction.
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